I Think You're Wrong (But I'm Listening): A Guide to Grace-Filled Political Conversations Hardcover – February 5, 2019

I first read this book in 2020 (right around the beginning of the pandemic), and found the authors' use of nuance to be a fresh perspective to think through; it felt particularly helpful after being weary of listening to angry, divided, demeaning rhetoric from both sides of the political spectrum. I particularly felt drawn to and challenged by the advice to take off your team jerseys, and to be curious about the "other side". I say challenging because I realized that was how I had been operating for much of my adult life. I had mostly voted Republican, but I realized that I had been influenced by my "team", and hadn't really put in the work to think through the why of my voting positions. In other areas of my life, I felt that I had always been a ponderer, who thought through both sides of an issue, and saw nuance. This book helped me to undertake this exercise more fully in my view of politics and the deep divide that was occurring among family and friends. I am very thankful to have found this book, and that it led me to discovering Sarah and Beth's podcast: Pantsuit Politics. Other reviewers have expressed their disappointment in Beth's switching to the Democratic party after writing this book, but I find Beth's journey a great example of staying open to learning, being curious about our own and other's reasons for opinions and views, and adapting along the way. I also appreciate the courage and honesty that they model in their discussions, both in the book and the podcast. I am very much looking forward to reading their new book this spring.

*Updated Review*The first time I read this book, I really loved it. I did still enjoy it the second time around, but the second time I noticed how much religion and faith was discussed, which is not something that resonates with me. No big deal, I glossed over those parts and still loved the rest!I also feel like I struggle more now than ever with giving grace to people who have different opinions on certain issues. I think that their lessons are valuable if the person with a different opinion with you is also willing to approach the conversation in the same way, but it doesn't always feel like that is possible anymore. I think my mood and the state of the world definitely affected my enjoyment the second time around with this one.*First Review*Sarah & Beth from Pantsuit Politics discuss their lives, political views, and how we can have more civil discussions about issues.I think we can all agree that we have, at one time or another, painted the “other side” with a broad brush, making lots of assumptions about who they are as people along the way. This is a gentle and graceful reminder that sometimes we need to step back and really take a hard look at not just issues, but ourselves as well. I generally think of myself as a reasonable person who can see many sides of an issue, even if I still passionately support my beliefs, but this was a good reminder that I can absolutely do better. I highly encourage anyone to read or listen to this book (and their podcast Pantsuit Politics)!

The hosts of the bi-partisan podcast Pantsuit Politics have made a practice of having substantive political conversations with respectful disagreement, and in this, their first book, they offer an actionable guide for readers who would like to talk politics without shouting or hurt feelings.Their unique perspective is that the conventional wisdom that it is impolite to talk politics is dead wrong and is harming our country because the problem isn't THAT we talk politics but HOW we talk politics with those with whom we disagree. They use the lessons they've learned from talking politics with each other (Silvers is Republican, Holland is a Democrat) and urge their fellow Americans to join them in doing the hard work of improving the dialogue we have with each other.I read the book (I received an ARC from the publisher) and had an opportunity to put their advice to work while dining with strangers at a community event. Politics came up casually, and when one person in the group we were seated with said we should change the subject away from politics, Ishared what I had learned from the book, that America has a tradition of public debate, and how our founding fathers and mothers made debating politics a critical, even enjoyable pursuit, and that our country was founded by people who relished the opportunity to talk about important things with their fellow citizens. I acknowledged that everyone at the table seemed concerned that we are losing our ability to engage in civil disagreement but wondered if it would help if we as a country started to talk more about what we value and less about the details of policies or politicians we prefer. The only way we’ll get through this is if we start talking with each other, take off our jerseys, exit our echo chambers and start listening to people we disagree with. I said if we dislike the tone of the debate, then it is up to people like us to start doing political talk better. We didn’t solve the problems of the world but we did our part to improve the dialogue among citizens in our country, and we did it thanks to principles I learned in the book.One last thing to note: this book is written from a Christian point of view and is published by a Christian publisher. I am not a practicing Christian but found the heart of what Holland and Silvers share in the book is universal.

Absolutely wonderful book, if everyone read it I think our world would be a better place